Life Advice
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Friends On Same Career Path Resent Each Other
DEAR HARRIETTE: My close friend and I are both actively seeking employment in the same city and industry. We both recently lost our jobs at the same company and have been looking for about two months now. We live in New York City and have a shared circle of friends we are networking with and asking around for open positions. It seems to have ...Read more
Gag Gift Falls Flat
DEAR MISS MANNERS: While my best friend and her partner do not believe in traditional marriage, they went to city hall following the birth of their child to ensure the family enjoyed the associated legal protections and privileges. There was no celebration, no announcements, and she told me directly that they did not want any gifts, although she...Read more
Planning for Post-Passing Peace
Dear Annie: When the time comes -- hopefully I pass before my loving husband and faithful partner of nearly 25 years, but if not -- I could use a few words of advice as to how to deal with my estranged step-daughter, her bitter mother (both vultures) and her young children who I've never met due to an unresolved falling out many years ago.
I ...Read more
Ask Amy: Single woman doesn’t want to be hit on
Dear Amy: I am a single woman in my mid-50s. I never married or had children and like it this way.
I enjoy people, but am a classic introvert who recuperates her energy by being alone.
I enjoy going to museums and restaurants on my own. There is a restaurant/bar right down the street from me that I enjoy going to.
Recently, I went to this ...Read more
Woman Pays High Emotional Cost Trying To Help Mother
DEAR ABBY: My mom always catered to my dad when I was growing up. I was left to pretty much raise myself. Their drinking and social life were their priorities. I ended up pregnant at 16 and married to an abusive 21-year-old man, and I was divorced at 17.
After that, I was on my own. Mom never helped other than writing an occasional check so my ...Read more
Student Home From Studying Abroad Misses Whirlwind Romance
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently returned to the United States after studying abroad, and I have a whirlwind of emotions following my departure from the city that became my temporary home. I am sad to leave the friends I made from all over the world, and I'm also leaving behind a guy I connected with.
During my time abroad, I met an incredible guy ...Read more
Longtime Friends Lose Minds Over Canceled Dinner Plans
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We were scheduled to have dinner with two friends at the tail end of a fun week -- several days of entertainments, parties, drinking and late nights. When the day of our dinner date came up, my wife and I were so miserable that we had to cancel our dinner plans. Eating another bite of food was the last thing we wanted to -- or...Read more
Sisterly Snag: A Party Predicament
Dear Annie: My sister "Emily" and I were planning a joint celebration for our parents' 40th wedding anniversary, but we've hit a snag. Emily wants to host a large party with all of our extended family and friends, but I think that a more intimate gathering would be more special and less stressful for our parents. They are both pretty reserved,...Read more
Ask Amy: Elder couple is isolated post-pandemic
Dear Amy: My husband and I, along with a lot of other people our age, have not been able to recover from the pandemic. We are both active 75-year-olds and have been married 55 years.
It seems like everyone’s forgotten that most people over 65 are retired and have no young children. They don’t have jobs and colleagues to return to. They don�...Read more
Widowed Spouse Makes Plea To All Living Partners
DEAR ABBY: Today I ironed and folded my late husband's lucky fishing shirt and placed it into a box going to Goodwill. Continuing with the task, I matched up 14 pairs of my good merino wool socks, most of which had been gifts from him in times that were not so flush. After three months, I have finally moved the box containing his ashes from the ...Read more
Lonely Wife Wants To Reconnect With Husband
DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I'm drowning in my empty home. My kids have all grown up and moved out, leaving a quiet house behind. My husband seems to be married to his work and spends more time at the office than at home. With everyone gone, all I have left is our puppy. I adore our furry friend, but obviously, he doesn't speak the same language...Read more
Let 'mistaken' Be Office-Speak For 'lying Liar Who Lies'
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a co-worker who consistently spreads misinformation in order to get out of doing her job. She often makes up policies that don't exist to try to trick other departments into doing her work (even when that means the work gets done incorrectly by people not trained for it).
In the past, I've tried printing out policies ...Read more
Bridging Distance in Busy Marriage
Dear Annie: I've been happily married for over 12 years, but lately, I've noticed a growing distance between my husband "Bryan" and me. He's always been a bit of a workaholic, but it's gotten to the point where even on weekends, he's either at the office or on his phone dealing with work-related issues. We used to enjoy things like hiking and ...Read more
Ask Amy: Parents house violent and irrational son
Dear Amy: After a very difficult divorce and a few years single, I married a wonderful partner last year. He brought his 20-year-old son into the marriage.
Since arriving at my home, the son’s prospects have devolved. He quit college. He lost his job. He now sits in his room all day. When he runs out of funds for nicotine or marijuana, he ...Read more
Gifts Given By In-Law Look Awfully Familiar
DEAR ABBY: I recently married "John," the love of my life. I have a great relationship with my mother-in-law, "Sarah." She and my father-in-law are retired and well-off financially. For each special occasion, John and I thoughtfully select gifts for his parents, and we have spent extra to ensure that our gifts convey our love and appreciation ...Read more
Single File: Freedom First?
DEAR SUSAN: This is one woman's comments on the 31-year-old man (who has never been married and is successful professionally) with a puzzling situation. He wrote for your opinion because the woman he's dating has a young child and complains that he puts his friends and freedom first.
I feel I must weigh in on this matter. I think he should put ...Read more
Erika Ettin: 5 ways to combat online dating fatigue (because it happens to everyone)
Burnout. We’ve all experienced it, whether at work, from school, over family obligations, or even due to a too-packed social schedule. We can also apply it to relationships — because it’s actually completely normal. Sometimes it stems from being overwhelmed (so many apps, so little time), and other times you find yourself feeling like you�...Read more
Ask Anna: Tips for when your poly partner dates someone you don't like
Dear Anna,
I’m a bisexual woman currently in my first significant relationship with another bisexual woman. Throughout my life, I’ve always identified as bi, but my past romantic involvements were primarily with straight men. I've been married twice and have three daughters. Despite my attraction to women, I’ve never dated one until now. ...Read more
Japanese Reader Wants More Information On Tipping
DEAR HARRIETTE: The tipping culture in the United States is puzzling to me as someone from Japan, where tipping is not customary. In Japan, tips can imply that the employer does not provide adequate wages.
After moving to New Orleans, I discovered that tipping was expected for various services, including food, transportation and even coffee. ...Read more
Host Doesn't Want To ... Well, Host
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I enjoy cooking and setting a nice table, and my spouse and I often invite several couples over for dinner. After the meal, I have come upon a problem: I don't feel right clearing the table for able-bodied adults of equal status to me.
In the past, I joined in clearing family members' dishes as a sign of respect for my in-...Read more
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